Epic Rap Battle Parodies Wikia
Register
Advertisement
Battle
Gallery
Rap Meanings


Season 1
Justin Buckner
WoodenHornets
The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman
Artworks-000066074828-e3sotj-t500x500
Battle information
Release date February 21, 2013
Number 7
Views 16,000+
Length 2:25
Timeline
Previous Tom Anderson vs Mark Zuckerberg
Next Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson
Other information
Actors Zander Kanack
Justin Buckner
LazySundayPaper
Rappers Salesman BoxMerchant Box
Cameos Zombie
Location(s) The Moon
Castle Roof

The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman is the seventh installment of Epic Rap Battle Parodies. It features Legend of Zelda shopkeeper and mask salesman, The Happy Mask Salesman, battling Resident Evil 4 shopkeeper, The Merchant, to see who is the better creepy salesman. It was released February 21, 2013.

Cast[]

Lyrics[]

The Happy Mask Salesman:[]

Oh hi, 72 hours remain before I kick your ass to shame.

I'm telling ya, you're gonna shit yourself when you see me in-game.

Alright stranger, we ain't gonna buy your herbs.

Let the clock tick down, then the moon will kick you off my turf.

You should not have done that, I made BEN drown,

Remove that dumb bandana so I can laugh at that frown.

You sound like a 50-year-old guy who smoked a lot.

Explain to me how you feel when Leon walks past your shop.

The Merchant:[]

Hello stranger, you've got your facts flipped.

Tell me why your pedophillic ass has to scare those little kids.

Don't look at me with that stupid grin, you creepy damn clown.

The reason I wear this bandana is so I don't see your ass in Clock Town.

I sell all my shit, you're just a loan shark.

At least when I wanna sell something, stranger, the price has a decent mark.

The moon doesn't wanna see your ass so he crushed your town with all his might,

Me kick your ass? Ah! I'll buy at a high price!

The Happy Mask Salesman:[]

I once heard the story of The Merchant who cried bankrupt,

Did Umbrella get to you, or did you think you actually won?

I'll light the blue torches, sell everything in your shop.

Sorry, Merchant, you lose, just PLEASE STOP.

The Merchant:[]

Got a lot of good things on sale stranger, your victory isn't one.

What are you buyin'? Psyche! I'd never let you be a customer, son.

24 hours remain? Better get your shit and fly.

Want another ass beating? Ha! Come back anytime.

Poll[]


Trivia[]

General[]

  • This is the first battle where Nathan Provost doesn't rap.
  • This battle is also the first where Nathan didn't appear at all.
  • BEN makes an appearance in this rap battle before Slenderman vs Jeff The Killer.
  • This is the third rap battle to feature two video-game characters against each other. The first being Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps and the second being Niko Bellic vs John Marston.
  • This is the first battle where LazySundayPaper appears, although the first time he raps was as Steve

Production[]

  • to be added

References[]

  • to be added

References[]


Epic Rap Battle Parodies Episodes
Season 1 Vault Boy vs Cole PhelpsMozart vs SkrillexJohn Marston vs Niko BellicPuff Puff vs Steve SmithHarry Styles vs Paul McCartneyTom Anderson vs Mark ZuckerbergThe Merchant vs The Happy Mask SalesmanHarry Potter vs Percy JacksonSteve vs JoeSlender Man vs EndermanTony Montana vs Al CaponeJack the Ripper vs Jeff the KillerTom Sawyer vs Huckleberry Finn
ve
Advertisement