Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps is the first episode of Epic Rap Battle Parodies. This is the first episode of Season 1. This battle features L.A. Noire protagonist Cole Phelps battling Fallout mascot Vault Boy. It was released on December 23, 2012.
Hello Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass.
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little bitch, no wonder daddy ran away.
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are.
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
to unlock the door, but instead you use a lockpick and a cord.
Ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the bowl, eat irradiated bread!
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Megaton.
You're a villified vilian, I'mma take you in.
Have you freakin' question by my partner Herschel Biggs.
My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner.
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar.
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying prescence.
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers.
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of shit.
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz.
All my companions make everything easy.
And guess what, none of them hate me.
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk.
Nuka Cola, Sarsapirilla, drinking Victory.
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree.
I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
Stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm.
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise.
Doing what I do makes me *chi ching*
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*
Oh please, you gotta washed out your ass
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps.
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal.
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, well guess what, I did, now go squeal.